My Mistake

i haven't been through as much as y'all have i can tell by reading your stories. but i did make some stupid mistakes that still affect me now. i lost my virginity when i was only 11 years old. he was 15 or 16. i knew what could happen to me but i didn't really think about it. it happened again with him while i was still 11. that time i was late and started getting sick so i thought i was pregnant. i was too young to be. thank God it came so i knew i wasn't. dec.'99 i met up with this guy i used to talk to in dec of'98. he was with his cuzins on the Valley and i was with mine. we started talking them i took off with him and my cuzin took off with one of his cuzins and we went to a motel. you can guess what happened there. i was only 14 and he was fixing to be 18. i seen him one time since but i never talked to him. i think to him i was just easy pussy. later on i find out he had a girl and was getting it with whoever he wanted to. that fucked me up. i was pissed at myself for letting myself be so stupid. now i am with some one that i love very much and i know he loves me the same. he knows about my past because of hatin hoes. they were friends or family with the guy i was with that december. to try to get me and my baby to break up they brought up every detail about my past and all the little things i did. when my boy asked me about it all i had to tell him the truth. it hurt him so bad. there he was telling them i wasn't like that and i didn't do stuff like that and yet i go back and tell him that it is true. 2 guys ain't a lot but how old i was and certain things we did is what really got to him. i didn't find out until after OUR first time together that he was a virgin and i was his first. that's why it got to him so bad. he's a senior and i'm only in 10th grade. i guess i trusted the wrong people or not so much as that but i didn't really think about the future and how it would all come back on me.we've been together for going on 6 months now. there is still one little thing i'm hiding but i know i will lose him if i tell him now.as far as i know he has told me everyting and i feel real guilty cuz i can't tell him. i really don't know what i'd do if i were to lose him. he's been through so much with and for me and i can't lose him. i love him way too much. the secret is not that i played him or anything like that but it has to do with my past and that is the last thing we ever wanna discuss again. baby if you ever read this which you probably won't but if you do ask me what it is before you jump to conclusions. they might be true but then again they might not be. te amo con todo me corazon. and don't you ever forget that. and if there's any one that can relate to me in some way let me know. i'll feel better knowing i ain't the only one who has gone thru something like this. but for real though think about everything you do before you do it cuz you never know how it can affect u later on in life.