It all began when Chencho's cow kicked over a pot of beans. The very pot of beans that Chencho had so painstakingly prepared the night before for the Amados' baby's celebration, selecting the beans with care, cooking them on a low fire for hours, with salt, chile, and bacon, then putting in the tomate, cilantro, onions, and more bacon near the end, with, of course, the crowning touch--a can of beer--to make them frijoles borrachos, little drunk beans that he would ladle up into small cups that people would down like chocolate syrup only better, not leaving even a teaspoonful of juice at the bottom, and always going back for more.

It was a special occasion. Elena and Javier Amado had given birth to a round-cheeked boy whom they named Carlos Javier after both their fathers; and Chencho, their neighbor, was invited to the gathering at the house after the baptism. In fact, he was on the way to the party with the aromatic pot of beans cradled in potholders when he heard the cow "moo" loudly and decided to make certain she still had enough water, since he didn't know how late the party would keep him.

It was for being in a rush (as problems usually are) that he laid the pot down so close to her, thinking just to run the hose a minute and continue on his way. But the smell of those delicious drink beans must have made the cow more energetic than usual, and when Chencho turned around to pick up the hose, she followed him, kicking over the beans and all their jugo on the thirsty dirt. Chencho found himself in a true quandary. He wanted to go to the party but he wanted to take a pot of beans with him. He thought about making up some quick papa con huevo, or squeezing some juice into a large gallon bottle, but that wasn't what he wanted to take. He wanted to take a pot of beans. Worse than that (the truth had to be told) he wanted to take that pot of beans--the very pot he made with young Carlos Javier Amado in mind and that now lay flavoring the red sandy dirt. He stared at it, he wished it back into the pot, he even thought about scooping up what he could but one look at the cow (and one smell) changed his mind. There was simply nothing that could be done.

The party was as pleasurable as imagined. The townspeople were happy to congratulate (and toast) the young child. Everyone understood about the beans, and they all agreed with Chencho that it was a terrible shame. Chencho took his accordion and played for the party and even promised the young couple a replacement pot of beans for the next Sunday round of visitors. Everyone went home feeling good. Everyone except Chencho.

Everyday for a week, he would go out in the barn and stare at the floor, jealously remembering that pot of beans. It got to the point where he began to neglect his fields, and even shouted angrily at his cow one day. He apologized to him but still it bothered him--it even bothered him that it bothered him.

One morning, as Chencho was standing in the barn heaving one of his now-customary sighs, someone said, "It doesn't have to happen that way, y'know." Behind him stood an avena-faced Anglo, a man dressed formally and all in black like one of those protestante ministers, hat coolly in hand. The man pointed to where Chencho's beans had by now (Chencho was sure) fertilized and strengthened the ground with their nutrients. "Such a waste and all for no necessary reason," said the stranger.

Chencho was startled a bit and also a little embarrassed, as if someone had caught him without his clothes on. "My beans?" Chencho verified, his discomfort not permitting any more eloquent a response than that. "Mmmhmm," the stranger nodded and looked coolly at the rim of his hat.

"You heard about my beans?" Chencho asked.
"Mm-hmm."
A moment of silence passed between them, their wondering eyes missing each other's intentionally.
"Hate to see you feelin' so bad, m'friend."
Funny the way the gringos, especially this kind that traveled through and appeared from nowhere, leaving also into nowhere, liked to call you "my friend" even though they had never laid eyes on you before, and you didn't even know their name. He felt irritated, and embarrassed, that this stranger should know so much about him. He tried to retract from that intimacy, awkwardly, but in a definite retreat.
"I'm allright." His embarrassment and the mutual silence belied his attempt. Chencho took a few steps to the side, and then--thinking better--to the front. The gringo looked away politely.
"It's just that . . . they were for a very special fiesta . . . in the home of my young neighbors . . .the baby boy was named after his two grandfathers--very fine men, very well-respected . . ." Chencho realized he was rambling and stopped.
"Sure, nothin' the matter with that. Just bein' proper. Anyone could understand that." Chencho relaxed. The man continued, cautiously, "All the same, it do prove a bother, given everything'." Chencho's brows came down together as he studied the talkative gringo. "An' the most bothersome part comes down to one thing--" Chencho was caught. No one had talked to him about it with such concern since the day after the party, as if everyone else had forgotten or worn out the interesting part of it, and Chencho had had only himself to talk it over with. "Just one thing, m'friend, at the root of it all--causing you all this heartache---" The gringo held the moment, letting Chencho hunger for an answer. "Passion! Jus plain passion!"
¡Gringo entremetido! Chencho thought, I knew he was sticking too far into my private feelings!
"Now don't go backin' off m'friend. This is a problem common to the majority of human bein's that inhabit this planet! An to darn near all the animals! Why that cow of yours just got so excited by the smell o' those beans that she jus' had to kick up her heels an' dance across the floor behind you, kickin' over those special beans o' yours. You'd a thought she would've stepped over logically, or waited till you got the water filled an' was out o' the way, but she jus' got so filled up with passion." Chencho was listening again. "Passion's what did it! Why people go near all their lives gettin' their feelings hurt or broodin' over things, cause o' the trouble that passion causes'm . . ."

By the time he cleared the dishes off the lunch table, Chencho was feelin' pretty good. The gringo had brought in a couple bottles of elixir from behind the panels of his truck (to cleanse the body after eating, he said), and Chencho was feeling more relaxed than he'd been in a week, with the drone of the gringo's voice putting him just a little (but not too much) to sleep. It never occurred to him to ask what could be done about it, it just somehow made more sense for this whole incident to have had some reason. But the gringo was on his way to some special road, "If only they didn't have their hearts gettin' in the way all the time, so much could be accomplished . . . ."

Chencho didn't remember having really thought about it a lot. In fact, he didn't really remember how it all happened. But his cow seemed to be doing fine, and the gringo reassured him that she was actually doing better than she ever had before. Even the scar where her heart had been taken out didn't seem to bother her. And the gringo was sure to point out that she would never again moo at him crossly when Chencho was late to fed or milk her. In fact, she would never again moo at him at all. There was simply no reason to do so.

There was still the matter of Chencho staring at that special spot in the barn and savoring not only the memory of the beans but of the whole celebracion as he had envisioned it, but the gringo had an idea that he said would take care of that too. It wasn't that Chencho had so much confidence in the gringo--he was a curious sort, that did too much talking and not enough waiting--but it was just that the man had a way of getting him to agree without asking his opinion.

"Passion! M'friend, without our hearts we could get so much more done, and with so much less pain. Now I wouldn't recommend this to ya' if I didn't happen to have seen it work so many times. If we weren't so emotional they don't have an ounce o' logic in'm! Now that's one that a good man like you can really understand, can't ya?" he said, laughing and elbowing Chencho. Chencho didn't, but he laughed anyway, from the mouth outwards, as they say in Spanish, but enough to keep from looking too unmasculine to the gringo.

T H I S  T I M E, Chencho insisted on taking the night to think about it. He would have put it off much longer but the gringo said he had appointments to keep in another town and would have to be leaving this town "sooner than I'd like, m'friend." Chencho talked about it plenty with his neighbors, and some of the things Nilo said got him so upset that he spent the whole night struggling with his pillow and by morning was ready to give it a try, just to get rid of his problem. He went out to the barn, where the cow was just standing, looking very peaceful and unconcerned. "You'd be considered quite a man to have hat kind of calm and strength in every situation." Chencho turned to look at the gringo, and something about the brown of the barn, made Chencho want to trust him, want to really make, his "m'friend" expression a reality. He was little nervous about the cutting part, but the gringo explained that the reason the wound had healed so rapidly on the cow, (in fact, it was not even like a wound at all) was that nothing really biological had been removed, only the emotional mass, the heart itself, and without the bother of this too-emotional muscle in its chest, the body could proceed with even greater health, allowing the brain to take over the functions previously so poorly supervised by the heart.

M A Y B E  I T  W A S Marta's grandfather, the one with the weak heart, that did it first, after Chencho, or maybe it was la rica, the one who was always so scared of someone stealing the blue tile birdbath that she'd bought in Mexico and placed so precisely in the perfect shady spot in her garden. No one seemed to remember how it had all happened, Chencho's house and that everyone went in very envious and excited and admiring how well Chencho and the others seemed to be doing and came out looking very happy, or maybe it was strong, or in control, they weren't certain which. At any rate, by the time three suns had set, there wasn't a normal-brained person over the age of ten that hadn't had his or her heart removed by the kind gringo who brought them the science of "depassionazation" as he called it. Chencho's mother had been one of the last to agree, and most of those three days she ranted and raved (quite passionately, proving the gringo's point) against the whole idea, saying that if God had meant people to not struggle for anything he would have given women "labor thoughts" instead of labor pains. The strangest thing of all was that the reason she probably gave in and had it done was because of passion itself! She just couldn't stand to see everyone else in such a predicament and her not right there with them, with her hands in the masa, so to speak.

Chencho's mother had made certain, before placing herself defiantly in that line, however, that her retarded niece, Eva, would not be touched. The gringo agreed, emphatically, stating that it really wouldn't work well on the mentally unfit or on children under ten, because with as little as they'd accumulated up top, they wouldn't have anything left to lean on.

It wasn't until weeks after the gringo left, that they realized something was missing. At first, they though they were just forgetting things, making a mistake or two, or having a dull day. But the pattern was noticeably repeated. Their thinking process no longer seemed as sharp, and the reasons for thinking things out were not known. Many things left a taste of not having been tasted. Chencho discovered that he no longer remembered how to make beans. This was the case of not having been tasted. Chencho discovered that he no longer remembered how to make beans. This was the case with numerous things: they had to look elsewhere to find what had once been inside of them. Chencho contracted a cousin in a neighboring city and made clear the level of his need. The necessary papers were sent promptly. Chencho would focus all of his attention following the directions with great care. Each step was outlined elaborately. Cleaning the stones, removing the beans required spreading them on the table, removing the stones, removing the beans that were shriveled more than twice as much as the majority, eliminating those that had a very dark color--correction, those that had an unnaturally dark color. (He had wondered what was unnatural and had been told to remove those that looked burnt and reddish, while leaving those that were dark in the same shade as the dark spots on light beans.) It seemed so complex. He had first learned to clean the beans as a child but he had not learned with his head. He had learned with his heart, while watching his grandmother do that which had later become integrated into his view of life. Now, it was integrated into nothing more than the piece of paper he studied so thoroughly, stumbling through the applications.

"Wrinkles that come with life, wrinkles from rubbing against other beans, wrinkles from wilting under the sun--allright. Wrinkles of petrified stone--no." He worked at it repeatedly, adding precisely measured amounts of ingredients at precisely timed stages. Chencho found that every time he cooked beans, he had to follow the written instructions again. But follow as he did, they never seemed to have the same taste as before. It was as if there was some ingredient missing, but he had no idea what to add. Chencho and the others would sit in the evenings, trying to piece together those things that their hearts could no longer provide. Eva, the retarded thirty-five year old, began to play a crucial role. She was the one they turned to for lessons in how to cuddle babies and how to help the older children play. They listened carefully as she and the little children laughed,, trying to imitate the sound.

They tried to make lists of what it was they had lost, what they had had, and what had been said in those days of the gringo's visit. They tried to piece together old conversations, but somehow every conversation had something important missing between the lines. The eight and nine year olds were brought in to listen and respond, but even their responses were difficult to comprehend. The teenagers just took notes. Chencho's mother proposed they go over every event and every conversation from the day of the gringo's arrival to the day of his departure. Chencho remembered his climbing into the truck with some salutation, what was it? The children offered possible expressions until the right one was found. "Goodbye, my friend," the gringo had said, as he folded the worn dollar bills into his pocket. "And then what?" asked Jorge, as the Amados' baby began to cry, and the adults turned to stare at him. "He wants his bottle," said a bright-eyed seven year old.

Chencho thought carefully and found the information as best he could through his passionless brain. "And then he told me how fortunate we would be--to be able to work longer days in the sun, without feeling upset, and to bring home paychecks of any amount at all, without wanting to cry." "What?" asked Elena, thoroughly confused, "Without wanting to cry?" "Yes, that's what he said." "Is that all?" asked his mother, whom people somehow sensed should be regarded as a leader, although they were not certain why. "No," said Chencho slowly, "there was something more . . . something . . . like that, like what that child just did." "He laughed?" asked the seven year old. "Yes, that was it. He laughed. He laughed," Chencho verified, "and then he drove off." In the distance, Chencho's cow could be heard moving around the barn, her bell dangling against the trough as she searched for food, but everyone knew that she would never again bother to moo.

written by Carmen Tafolla

from "Daughters Of The Fifth Sun"
--A Collection of Latina Fiction and Poetry
edited by Bryce Milligan, Mary Guerrero Milligan, & Angela De Hoyos
© 1995